Christmas is fast approaching and despite the risk of sounding like a grinch I thought I’d share with you the 10 things I hate about Christmas. You might be thinking there’s nothing to dislike about the now consumer based holiday, but I beg to differ so here goes:
1- Shopping mall/centre Santa’s nothing against them but the whole fully grown man dressed up and inviting children to sit on his lap on order to get a present creeps me right out. Maybe it’s a combination of never believing in Santa and a bad experience with a slightly hungover Irish ‘Santa’ but the whole thing just never really floated my boat.
2- Obnoxious neighbours taking advantage, just because it’s a time for sharing it does not mean that I want to hear your excessively loud music I have my own thanks for the thought (or lack of it) though.
3- Mistletoe, it’s a plant not an excuse for PDA. If you need it to get some action you should really reevaluate things.
4- Discounts it’s amazing how 30% off can encourage me to buy the most unnecessary of items. Seriously I’m a sucker for a discount and my bank account does not appreciate it at all.
5- Christmas Jumpers now don’t get me wrong they’re adorkable but they’re only of use to me between 1-25 of December…so not very long then. Sad times compadre sad times.
6- Church, I mean seriously Christmas is not religious anymore let’s stop pretending. Jesus wasn’t even born on Christmas day let’s just move on from those awkward nativity scenes please and thankyou.
7- Carolers I get that they’re trying to capture Christmas but maybe they should check if they can hold a tune beforehand?
8- Selection boxes they used to be the shizz but now Cadburys have become awfully stingey (making their selection boxes not so much of a selection) and have officially ruined my Christmas tradition of having one on xmas morning.
9- Awkward and awful gifts I have been the victim of this on many Christmases the trick is to look just the right amount of happy…in the words of the penguins from Madagascar ‘smile and wave boys, smile and wave’.
10- There’s nothing left to look forward to as sad as it is after this the only holiday I’m left anticipating is my birthday…It’s in October.
And there you have my top 10 pet peeves about Christmas, as annoyingly perky and commercialised as its become it’s still by far my favourite holiday. Embrace it even if you’re a downer like yours truly anyway there’s nothing else you can do take it from me bud.