My 10 most awkward moments

Disclaimer: If your cringe tolerance levels are not high I recommend that you refrain from reading on. If you disregard this message and consequently suffer a cringe like emotion I hold no liability. Remember I warned you.

My life is essentially a comedy, so narrowing my awkward moments down to a minimal 5 is a difficult task, but for your viewing pleasure I will attempt to do so.

1- Let me set the scene it was prom, I was enjoying myself and bam the best possible thing happens, the guy I at the time found rather attractive told me I looked beautiful. How did I respond? I dribbled fanta on his shoe…not purposely! We were on a boat, I was attempting to reply at an awkward moment, it was rocking at a ridiculous pace and bam, perfect moment over. Until this neither of us have mentioned the said incident, I think he felt as awkward as I did *sigh*.

2- As a treat my sister took me to the Twilight Breaking Dawn premiere, (don’t judge me I had an R Patz phase and I am not ashamed to admit it). At this particular moment in time I was quite short, my sister did the kind thing and gave me a boost so I could see what was going on; it did not end well. I have lacked spacial awareness since birth, therefore being in a confined space with many people is not an ideal situation for me, something which the girl standing beside me could testify. Accidentally and I stress the word ACCIDENTALLY I elbowed her in the face. She didn’t speak english so it was an awful hand gesturey apology. Yup that was a way to end the day.

3- Let’s not forget the time I greeted the German foreign exchange student who formerly lived with us (who I had not spoken to in 5+ years) on Facebook with the opener of ‘hey ho’. I thought it was my sister and let’s just say it didn’t go down well.

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4- The English lesson in which I completely zoned out was a horrendous moment in time. We were reading through a Shakespearean play, with each student being given an individual part to read, I was given Borachio. It was after this point that my teacher asked ‘who is Borachio?’ I suddenly tuned back in and responded with ‘me!’ whilst waving my hand…she meant who is he as a character, not who was playing him. Most awkward minute of my life.

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Photographic evidence

5- Not forgetting the time I was accosted, by a random german tourist, in central London. He stared at me for a while and then as prompted by his (rather strange) family, decided to jump in a picture with me. I was not impressed. Which you can probably tell from the photo above.

6- My big break, aged 10 I was cast as the ‘white witch’ in my schools production of ‘The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe’ (a main part) I was chuffed to say the least. During the plays last part my character dies in battle, as a result I was told to quickly get off stage following through an opening in the side curtain. Every rehearsal I managed it with no problems, come the day of the performance it didn’t shall we say, go off without a hitch. You see during the actual performance I couldn’t find the opening due to the lack of light, I didn’t want to ruin the show so following a large jolt of adrenaline I did what I had to do, and wait for I…roly polyed underneath the curtain. It was not met with the best of responses from my teacher.

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7- This wasn’t my moment but I was there to witness it, making it just as awkward. My mum is the definition of a Brit abroad, she’s a lovely lady but sometimes her people skills fall a bit flat. Something which I experienced first hand in Disneyland Paris, waiting for a table at a restaurant my mum set about enquiring when we would be sat…to a non – English speaking member of staff. It resulted in 5 minutes of my mum repeating ‘English-En-glish’, the poor woman continued to shake her head, despite my and my sisters attempts to explain the situation to mum she was not having any of it. It was not over until finally a fellow member of staff came to answer my mums query. I now understand why the French tend to dislike us Brits.

8- There was also the painful moment when I was walking back from school with my good friend Hinda. We had finished a whole day of completing our gcse business studies coursework, and rather than have a delightful conversation about our day we conversed about something else. We boasted about managing to cheat on our coursework, we also mocked the idea of rachet people by speaking in a ghetto style language. It was not until after all of this that we realised our business teacher (the one who’s coursework we cheated on) had been behind us the whole time. Luckily he has a good sense of humour, he also felt as awkward as us and burst out laughing at us, it would not of ended well for my coursework if he didn’t, thank christ for that.

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9- I recently got my haircut at my favourite salon. I have gone there since the age of 10, it’s always been a comfortable place for me, that was until my last visit. I went as normal to the hair washing station and was met with shock horror, the girl washing my hair was an irritating chav/hoodlum from the year below me at school. There was the recognition of a mutual dislike on both of our faces, thankfully it didn’t last long but the tension seemed to linger for the remainder of my visit. I guess I’ll be moving salons then.

10- In history this year we have been studying the civil rights movement in America. Due to this at the start of the academic year I was set an essay on the ‘KKK’, I picked a bad time to write it, sitting next to my good friend Sophie. Whilst powering through what appeared to be a never ending essay I carried on, unbeknownst to me Sophie was reading over my shoulder and without thinking shouted ‘kkk?!’. Her accidental outburst caused the remaining students in the room to look at me with shock and confusion due to their not understanding the context, with one responding with ‘oh my god she’s racist!’. Thanks for that Soph.

Well now do you guys understand my pain? It’s a hard life I lead but I do it fabulously. So that’s the end of my 10 very awkward moments, until next time laters lovelies.

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