We all have that slightly overzealous person who’s a bit awkwardly close, the trouble is that they sometimes fail to take a hint. Having to give someone the brush off is never a fun task, but it is a necessary one. So for all those in my predicament I’m going to give you a helpful but brief outline on how to get your space back, without hurting the said clinger’s feelings.
A conscious uncoupling, yes, following in the steps of Hollywood’s most obnoxious couple, Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin is the way to go. They may not be the best of role models but they sure as hell know how to break up with class. Think of getting your space from that over enthusiastic ‘friend’ or ‘crusher’ as a breakup, the more mutual the better. Let them think it was their idea, it helps you and them, so even if it means utilising the method of suggestion it has to be done. A way I tend to put this part into action is by suggesting space, in a which is somewhat complimentary and appears to be ’empathetic’ to others, “yeah but we’re around each other so much I don’t think I’ve spent enough time with INSERT RANDOM NAME” etc, fake it til’ you make it.
If part A hasn’t done much it’s time to move onto part B, being the clingey one.Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is usually a rather bitter pill, but if you can dish it out you should be expected to take it. So use the simple but effective technique of mirroring, now I don’t mean mimicking, I mean taking the uncomfortable things they do to you and turning them around in a less obvious way. For example if your clinger likes talking over people do it to him/her, if they like to invade your personal space, well it’s time to be Gengus Khan, because you friend are gonna have to do some invading. Chances are they won’t be able to endure their own annoying little niches that they expect you to, so many clingers break and move on at this point.
Worst case scenario you have to, wait for it TELL THE TRUTH dum dum dummmm! It’s not offen that I advise honesty, but in this scenario, unless you want the hanger on to be your new bestfriend/partner you’re gonna have to. It’s never nice to give someone a home truth that they’re completely oblivious to, but ever heard the saying, cruel to be kind? Yup, it’s very applicable here. You don’t necessarily have to be ‘cruel’, but you do however need to be blunt, if not for your benefit than theirs. After completing this step, unless he/she is deranged, you’ve probably got your space back. The victory may be bittersweet, but it’s nonetheless a victory.
So there you have my tips on saying asta lavista, without all the tears and internal anger. Well it’s been great but I have to go, um it’s me not you? No I mean it really it is me, I have some overdue coursework to crack on with, with that in mind, laters lovelies!