Okay so us girls tend to lack clarity when we communicate, it’s a bad but very common habbit. I don’t know about you but I’m far too lazy to break it, seriously, aint nobody got time fo dat, so in order to make my and the lives of all females better, I thought I’d introduce a snippet of the girl dictionary; so you’ll have no excuse for not knowing what we mean, even if we don’t say it in so many words.
Did I look okay today? = Seriously compliment me. Even if I looked like shit I don’t want to hear that, just tell me the good stuff then stop.
Forget it = No don’t, I still want to discuss the topic, and hear you apologise for your idiocy.
I’m really upset = Fix it. Listen to me whine, then fix it. Immediately.
I really don’t like you = Don’t get your hopes up, we really do mean it.
Is she prettier than me? = That girl is quite pretty, but just confirm that I am the prettiest, please and thankyou.
Have I gained weight? = I feel fat so it’s your job to make me believe otherwise.
Ho/biatch/slut = So this one’s a bit tricky, listen out for the combination of tones and body language, it’s either a term of endearment or the beginnings of a verbal brawl.
Do what you want = Pshh no, do what I want and then pretend that’s what you wanted too.
And there you have it, boys and girls you’re welcome. Happy chocolate eating day! Until next time, laters lovelies.