How to: identify a hipster


Okay so recently, whilst at a university  taster day, I came across a couple of hipsters and it came to my attention that prior to this I had never actually met one before. I mean I thought I had, but nope these two really fulfilled the piss takingly ridiculous stereotype. So now since I’m an expert on the topic *insert sarcastic cringe * I thought I’d lend you all my expertise and help you learn how to properly identify a hipster. Here are just a few of the indicators I picked up on:

HE/SHE HATES ANYTHING THAT IS MODERATELY POPULAR: Yes you see a major flaw of this subculture is that hipsters appear to dislike things (such as T.V shows, music etc) due to their popularity. Regardless of content, however good it may be, they will reject things because quite frankly, it’s the ‘cool’ thing to do…duuuh.

THEY DRESS LIKE 90S REJECTS: Because everybody knows the 90s is the most hip & misunderstood era so that obvy translated to the fashion trends, thus hipsters flock round 90s cast offs like flies around a turd.

HIPSTER IDEOLOGY: You would never catch a hipster in a venue such as Mcdonalds, unless it’s to take an ironic instagram post which scolds big corporations all while using a Sony phone, because apparently as Sony isn’t as popular as Apple it isn’t classed as a big corporation (I shit you not that is a genuine quote from a real life hipster). Or why bike while you can unicycle? Or take a digitalised photo when you can use a camera that is harder to use and no longer in production for that very reason? Welcome to the hypocrisy and ignorance of hipster ideology.


And that is how I identify hipsters. So hopefully you enjoyed that! Until next time, laters lovelies.


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