The One Where I’m Not Really Confident:

Every adolescent regardless of gender and background, in some form or another is insecure. But recently it’s come to my attention that my insecurities are holding me back. I try to promote the idea of self love and belief, and it’s only just occurred to me that I don’t quite practice what I preach. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you will never quite behold yourself as an ideal because you’ll always find someone or something to aspire to. Especially in a world where people like Rosie Huntington Whiteley exist, I mean seriously she’s pregnant and still has a better body than me (fml). 

I basically pretend to be Daria

I have spent longer than I remember trying to hide the things I don’t like about myself. Be it my wonky teeth, chunky thighs, granny-esque skin or my ratty hair… annnddd the list goes on. In aid of this I’ve tried to be positive, exude an overt, palpable confidence that doesn’t quite run true. To be fair I’m quite good at it, if you’re bubbly enough people will believe whatever ideal you’re selling em’. I could quite easily carry on as I am, but it’s starting to feel a bit hollow. I think I’d like the confidence I pretend to have.

In aid of this I’m making some changes. These said changes are not to further layer upon my mask of falsity, they’re to give it some validity. Healthiness and happiness seem to go hand in hand, I’m not going on an extreme diet, I still love my food don’t chu worry, but I do want to better myself. My gym regime will now hopefully be less sporadic than my posting (soz again peeps), and I’m going to try fix my tunnel vision. Rather than fixate on my flaws, in a typically British self deprecating manner, I’m gonna have a go at finding some things I like. I mean I could be better, like a lot a better, but I’m not thaaatttt bad. Sheesh, there must be some things I can pat myself on the back for. Oh and yoga! Happy people tend to do yoga so let’s see how that goes. Zen time seems like fun time.
So, if like me you want to promote a better you, the real you, then realise it’s not just something you can fix in a flash. You can have all the surgery and makeup you want but inside, you’ll probably still feel ugly and more so, empty. Don’t just look for a quick fix, look for a proper fix. I could actually be talking a load of shit, I should probably put my plan into action before I become boastful – awks. But they do say difficult roads lead to the most beautiful of destinations, hopefully that rings true. I will actually attempt to keep you beautiful humans, who for some unknown reason read my ramblings, posted on how I go. Apologies for the unfunny vent but hey, writing heals the heart. Until next time, laters lovelies.



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