5 Myths About Girls

There are so many rumours about the female population going around, i’d thought I’d use this post to put some of those to bed, so here are just 5 of the endless stream of myths about girls explained and disproven:

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1- All girls hate each other- Nope not at all, in fact most of us are pretty supportive of each other. The ones filled with hatred towards other females are a rareity, they don’t portray the masses so don’t tarnish us all with the same brush and let them undermine the many friendships amongst us girls.

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2- Girls and guys can’t be friends- Once again incorrect, I have plenty of male friends and I can safely say I am attracted to none of them. Soz not soz. Just because I have a friend with a different set of genitals doesn’t mean I’m automatically into to them, I mean get real guys my standards, and most of our standards, (I hope anyway) require more than that to be fulfilled. It’s not everyday Ron and Hermoine, sometimes it’s Harry and Hermoine, jusat saying.

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3- Girls can’t do ‘masculine’ subjects- Bull to the shit. I’ve heard this argument a few times and I have never been more astounded by the level of ignorance used to support it. Luckily this ideology is dying out, but as exhibited by some, progress is yet to reach us all, so I shall expand. This belief is point blank wrong, in fact the best mathematicians, and scientific thinkers I know are girls. Maybe not as many girls pick those subjects, but their sex is completely irrelevant in that choice, nothing is predetermined, especially our skill set.

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4- Provocatively dressed girls are ‘asking for it’- This is essentially a myth that exscuses sexual harassment, and for that there should never be an argument in favour. You see women dress for themselves, they way in which we dress is our individual choice, however revealing or conservative a persons clothing may be shouldn’t warrant a poor standard of treatment. Sexual harassment is a crime, nobody deserves to be a victim.

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5- A girl on her period should be avoided- Okay this one is (sadly, awkwardly and depressingly) kind’ve true, at least regarding myself and my amigas. So when mother nature pays us a week long visit, it’s a bit stressful and can result in a fair bit of anger, usually combined with unexplained tears, (from my experiences anyway) I’d say it’s best to give a girl on her period some chocolate and slowly back away, pretty much the same way you would with a bear. Yes I did just compare a girl on her period to a bear, it happened.

There you have it, a little bit of my inside knowledge. Until next time, laters lovelies.

10 Extra facts about moi

Now I’m sure from my writing you’ve all noticed my amazing character depth *insert sarcastic wink*, so here’s another post to help you all grasp my many layers, and in a way get to know me. Because seriously who wouldn’t wanna know someone this awesome, it’s a gift.

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1- I am not a fan of tattoos. Fair enough if you are, they look alright to an extent but the way I see it is your body is a temple, not an etch a sketch.

2- I could never be a boxer. I tried it at school once and let’s just say it didn’t go so swimmingly.

3- My sister has attempted to kill me three times. Once by pushing me down our very steep stairs, and twice using the method of drowning, but hey I’m not one for hints.

4- When I’m happy/nervous/stressed/excited I don’t verbalise anything, it kinda pours out in a squealy girly mess. A stereotype I am indeed.

5- I’m excellent at being a kiss arse when necessary, for example while in hospital I sweet talked myself a private room, complete with T.V and en suite, thank you nurse Elizabeth.

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6- I recently had a nightmare that Kanye West abducted me, true story.

7- Despite having a big butt I have never done squats before. Kim Kardashian lies, you don’t need exercise, strategic fat storing all the way bitches.

8- 80% of what I say is a complaint, the other 20% is an anxious ramble.

9- At the age of 5 I wasn’t like most kids, nope, my career goal was to be a news reader. You see I decided that their job was to essentially read whilst looking at a camera, in my eyes it was easy pay, I had my head screwed on pretty tight back then.

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10- I really really reallyyyy want to visit the Montana Magica Lodge in Chile, it’s a resort in a VOLCANO, so awesome, but my mum’s a prude and I’m a broke arse bitch.

10 more reasons you gotta love me. Until next time, laters lovelies.

The Girl Dictionary

Okay so us girls tend to lack clarity when we communicate, it’s a bad but very common habbit. I don’t know about you but I’m far too lazy to break it, seriously, aint nobody got time fo dat, so in order to make my and the lives of all females better, I thought I’d introduce a snippet of the girl dictionary; so you’ll have no excuse for not knowing what we mean, even if we don’t say it in so many words.

Did I look okay today? = Seriously compliment me. Even if I looked like shit I don’t want to hear that, just tell me the good stuff then stop.

Forget it = No don’t, I still want to discuss the topic, and hear you apologise for your idiocy.

I’m really upset = Fix it. Listen to me whine, then fix it. Immediately.

I really don’t like you = Don’t get your hopes up, we really do mean it.

Is she prettier than me? = That girl is quite pretty, but just confirm that I am the prettiest, please and thankyou.

Have I gained weight? = I feel fat so it’s your job to make me believe otherwise.

Ho/biatch/slut = So this one’s a bit tricky, listen out for the combination of tones and body language, it’s either a term of endearment or the beginnings of a verbal brawl.

Do what you want = Pshh no, do what I want and then pretend that’s what you wanted too.

And there you have it, boys and girls you’re welcome. Happy chocolate eating day! Until next time, laters lovelies.

British Boys -THE TRUTH REVEALED

Now living in the UK relationship wise you’d think us British girls would have it good, well you’ve got it wrong. But I can understand the misconception, with Britain being the home to celebrities like Robert Pattinson and Henry Cavill it’s easy to be deceived, the reality is harsh and excruciatingly depressing. This is essentially the teen girls version of the matrix, so if you want the truth about what they’re really like, do read on:

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‘Chavs’, the British version of the ‘hick’. Well ladies they can’t all be dashing and well spoken, in fact the majority are quite the opposite. Chavs are accustomed to the less scenic areas of England, such as run down pubs and clubs, they’re also inclined to a bit of lingering, particularly in alleys or outside corner shops. Beware, this breed of boy tends to over wear sporting goods, in fact it is rare to see a chav out of a tracksuit, regardless of occasion. They also tend to travel by bike (no, not the kind with a motor) or by ‘pimped out’ second hand car, no one can say that they don’t know how to travel in style.

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The ‘posh totty’ now you’re probably assuming that a posh boy sounds good, well think again. The posh totty is a grade A arse hole, arrogance and self entitlement are second nature. Trust fund babies with a keen eye for vulgar traditions that society has attempted to abandon such as hunting, they’re very far from Prince charming to say the least. So unless you’re willing to be objectified, tolerate animal cruelty and essentially act like a twat I don’t think they’re your type.

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The ‘lad’, a boy’s boy with ladies man tendencies (God only knows how). Yup if you want a well read sensitive man, elsewhere is certainly where you should be looking. Lads tend to be self involved, and very keen on impressing their friends, so to be blunt your opinion is absolutely unimportant. They tend to prefer sporting events over companionship, there’s nothing you can do, don’t bother they’re unfixable.

There you have it, British guys are just as useless as the rest. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a few good ones, emphasis on the ‘few’, but if you wanna find your English prince, you’re gonna have to shovel through a whole lot of frogs first. That’s it for me this week, little side note-exam season is nearly here so as a result my weekly posts will now be fortnightly until June due to revision…ew…sad times, so until then laters lovelies!

The Versatile Blogger Award

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The lovely Rozanne over at Life Is Rozie very kindly nominated me for this, I really do recommend you check out her blog, it’s just seriously amazeballs.

Rules:
★Show the award on your blog.
★Thank the blogger that nominated you.
★Share 7 facts about yourself. ★Nominate & include links to 15 other blogs.

FACTS

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1- I swear an awful amount, far more than I really should, prick/twat/bitch/bastard are all popular vocab choices of mine.

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2- All of my A level English lit teachers are agonisingly incompetent. ALL OF THEM. They’ve made me regret picking the subject. True story.

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Not that old though, my issues don't run that deep...unless he's super rich, then maybe.

3- The men I find attractive tend to be a minimum of 5yrs older than me. Worrying I know.

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4- I have an obsession with peplum tops. They make up a fair precentage of my wardrobe.   

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5- I used to quite proudly hack my sister’s MSN (ahh the good old days), Myspace and Facebook accounts on a regular basis, turns out it was the proudness that got me caught. She didn’t really see the funny side. I don’t think MI5 would really want my services, I’m a bit too boastful for them.

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6- I am the most indecisive person that you will EVER have the displeasure of meeting. Butttt I’m a Libra, so it’s to be expected.

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7- I was a bit of a wuss as a child, so much so that I couldn’t watch any of the ‘mother willow’ scenes in Pocahontas. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you read it right, I was terrified of a talking tree.
                          Nominees                  

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            Things Up To You
            NYGUYENSAYS
            Beauty By Mitchy Poo
            Gorgeous Days
So I know that this is nowhere near 15, but I recently just did a liebster-award post, so cut me some slack guys. Quality over quantity I guess.

Until next time, laters lovelies!

The liebster-award #3

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So I have again been lucky enough to recieve the ‘Liebester award’ this time it’s courtsey of the lovely Nicole over at walkinthesunlight I strongly suggest that you go and check her super awesome blog out, I did and now I’m obsessed.

Rules:
♥Shout out the blogger who nominated you.
♥Answer the questions set for you.
♥Nominate other bloggers.
♥Set 11 new questions for your nominees to answer.

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1. If you could have any career in the world, which would you have and why? So it’s not a very exciting choice, but I’d be a book publisher. I love reading more than anything else so being paid to do it is the ULTIMATE dream.

2. What is your biggest fear? I’m gonna get a bit deep here and say, failure. The constant possibility of not meeting my own depressingly high expectations as well as those of my family, scares me to the point of anxiety, far more than the idea of ghosts or aliens. Yay for pushy parents.

3. What’s your favourite book? Probably ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett…or maybe even ‘The perks of being a wallflower’ by Stephen Chbosky, I’m just too fickle to choose!

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4. Are you good at cooking? I can answer this one quickly and bluntly, helllllll no.

5. If you could only eat 5 foods for the rest of your life, which foods would you choose? Ooo I’m a massive carnivore (nothing to be proud of, I know) so my choices would be as follows: lamb, chicken, rice, pasta and cous cous. Oh what a medeteranian diet I have.

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6. What is you favourite TV series?
Again I can’t pick one single favourite. So instead I’ll cheat and list a few: The blacklist, The Originals, The 100, 2 Broke Girls, Once upon a time…well that clearly ended up being more than a few #sorrynotsorry.

7. If you could live in any city in the world, which would you live in? New Yorkkkk! It’s just amazeballs, it’s a more exciting and inviting version of London…that kinda rhymed (not intended btw).

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8. Do you have a pet? As a matter of fact I have 2. My lovely kitten Oliver, and my even lovelier Shih Tzu Alfie, they’re absolutely adorbs. Yeah I’m definitely gonna be the crazy hermit lady with a house full of animals in the future…no husband for me I guess.

9. Do you like sports? If so what sports do you do? If internet surfing and shopping count than yes, yes I do. If not than my answer to you is LOL no.

10. You can only listen to one song for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?  Hoozier ‘take me to church’ because to put it simply it’s beautiful.

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11. Tea or coffee? Hands down tea, why do people even drink coffee? Unless iced it’s as rank as can be. While saying that, I do overload my tea with sugar, so it kinda ends up being sugar ‘feauturing’ tea. Make of that what you will.

My questions:
1- What’s your favourite piece of advice that you’ve either recieved/shared?
2- If you  could change 1 aspect of both your looks and personality what would you change, if anything at all?
3- What’s different about your blog?
4- What is/was your favorite subject at school?
5- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 6- Favourite quote?
7- Any bands/singers you’d recommend ?
8- What makes you cringe the most?
9- What’s more important, inner or outer beauty?
10- Do you have a role model? If so who?
11- Favourite YouTube channel?

The bloggers I nominate are:
life is rozie
cupcakes adventures
sacredsimplicity
life being lauren
typingandthinking
onthelookoutx
east coast thoughts

Why are girls so mean?

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If you haven’t taken the hint from movies such as ‘mean girls’, we younger females are (to put it lightly), bitches. I speak from both 1st and 2nd hand experience. But what is it that makes us like that? Remember I’m generalising here, so if you’re one of the rare, GENUINELY, nice ones, then this obviously does not apply to you. But if you’re a stone cold bitch like me, then I think you know where this is heading, read on.

There are various types of mean girls, and various reasons behind their attitudes, let’s peruse into the psyche of a few of them and observe a few of the popular reasons behind the bitchiness.

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A bitch for laughs, and unsurprisingly the most common kind of mean girl. Many girls (occasionally myself included) tend to use exceptionally mean spirited humour in order to get a positive reaction from others. It’s hurtful and mean, but it’s a way to try and appeal to people (god, that sounds messed up) and alot of the time it’s not malicious, it’s satirical. For example comedians such as Chelsea Lately and Joan Rivers, have managed to make stellar careers out of their comedic monologues that tend to (harshly) be at the expense of others; but at the end of the day a laugh’s a laugh. You mustn’t take it too seriously, I’ve been on both sides of the equation and 99% of the time, it’s not intended to be as hurtful as it is, it’s a way in which us girls rather sadistically attempt to bond. Eh you gotta love a funny bitch.

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The ‘insecure’ meany, again common, but far more deadly than other types of mean girls. You see this breed of mean girl, uses her victims as a way to better her own self esteem. She lacks empathy, and is usually a bit shall we say, self – obsessed? She’s fully able to acknowledge and console her own insecurities, but sadly unable to realise the declining self of steem that her mean attitude passes on to others. The best way to tolerate this type of girl is to remain unphased, don’t allow her to get to you, do that and she’ll most likely get bored of reflecting her loathful attitude onto you and do what she should’ve done earlier, deal with it herself.

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The one who doesn’t know how to flirt. Yes the age old tale that girls are mean to the boys they like is sometimes true, gawd even Shakespeare knew that (please refer to ‘Much Ado About Nothing’), it’s rarer as we age, though there’s still a few later in life who continue to use the very confuzzling method to attract. The meanness they exude stems from an attraction, it’s a playful kind’ve mean, (do not confuse it with the venomous kind that’d be a costly mistake), it’s a way to test the waters without getting hurt, if a girl uses this method, she probably has her own issues, so play it cool and for your sake don’t mess her around.

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Lastly, the brutally honest one. Yup we all saw this one coming, sometimes girls are mean because it’s necessary, sometimes douchey behaviour has to be shut down and it just so happens that some home truths, however painful they may be, are the way to do just that. So before you think those firey insults hurled straight at you are a mere cover up for underlying issues, think again and reevaluate your actions beforehand. It may actually be…your fault *shock, horror*.

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A mean bunch we are, but as you can see we have our reasons, okay they may not be so reasonable, but they’re adequate. See you next week, until then, laters lovelies.

How to reject someone nicely:

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We all have that slightly overzealous person who’s a bit awkwardly close, the trouble is that they sometimes fail to take a hint. Having to give someone the brush off is never a fun task, but it is a necessary one. So for all those in my predicament I’m going to give you a helpful but brief outline on how to get your space back, without hurting the said clinger’s feelings.

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A conscious uncoupling, yes, following in the steps of Hollywood’s most obnoxious couple, Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin is the way to go. They may not be the best of role models but they sure as hell know how to break up with class. Think of getting your space from that over enthusiastic ‘friend’ or ‘crusher’ as a breakup, the more mutual the better. Let them think it was their idea, it helps you and them, so even if it means utilising the method of suggestion it has to be done. A way I tend to put this part into action is by suggesting space, in a which is somewhat complimentary and appears to be ’empathetic’ to others, “yeah but we’re around each other so much I don’t think I’ve spent enough time with INSERT RANDOM NAME” etc, fake it til’ you make it.

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If part A hasn’t done much it’s time to move onto part B, being the clingey one.Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is usually a rather bitter pill, but if you can dish it out you should be expected to take it. So use the simple but effective technique of mirroring, now I don’t mean mimicking, I mean taking the uncomfortable things they do to you and turning them around in a less obvious way. For example if your clinger likes talking over people do it to him/her, if they like to invade your personal space, well it’s time to be Gengus Khan, because you friend are gonna have to do some invading. Chances are they won’t be able to endure their own annoying little niches that they expect you to, so many clingers break and move on at this point.

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Worst case scenario you have to, wait for it TELL THE TRUTH dum dum dummmm! It’s not offen that I advise honesty, but in this scenario, unless you want the hanger on to be your new bestfriend/partner you’re gonna have to. It’s never nice to give someone a home truth that they’re completely oblivious to, but ever heard the saying, cruel to be kind? Yup, it’s very applicable here. You don’t necessarily have to be ‘cruel’, but you do however need to be blunt, if not for your benefit than theirs. After completing this step, unless he/she is deranged, you’ve probably got your space back. The victory may be bittersweet, but it’s nonetheless a victory.

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So there you have my tips on saying asta lavista, without all the tears and internal anger. Well it’s been great but I have to go, um it’s me not you? No I mean it really it is me, I have some overdue coursework to crack on with, with that in mind, laters lovelies!

My 10 most awkward moments

Disclaimer: If your cringe tolerance levels are not high I recommend that you refrain from reading on. If you disregard this message and consequently suffer a cringe like emotion I hold no liability. Remember I warned you.

My life is essentially a comedy, so narrowing my awkward moments down to a minimal 5 is a difficult task, but for your viewing pleasure I will attempt to do so.

1- Let me set the scene it was prom, I was enjoying myself and bam the best possible thing happens, the guy I at the time found rather attractive told me I looked beautiful. How did I respond? I dribbled fanta on his shoe…not purposely! We were on a boat, I was attempting to reply at an awkward moment, it was rocking at a ridiculous pace and bam, perfect moment over. Until this neither of us have mentioned the said incident, I think he felt as awkward as I did *sigh*.

2- As a treat my sister took me to the Twilight Breaking Dawn premiere, (don’t judge me I had an R Patz phase and I am not ashamed to admit it). At this particular moment in time I was quite short, my sister did the kind thing and gave me a boost so I could see what was going on; it did not end well. I have lacked spacial awareness since birth, therefore being in a confined space with many people is not an ideal situation for me, something which the girl standing beside me could testify. Accidentally and I stress the word ACCIDENTALLY I elbowed her in the face. She didn’t speak english so it was an awful hand gesturey apology. Yup that was a way to end the day.

3- Let’s not forget the time I greeted the German foreign exchange student who formerly lived with us (who I had not spoken to in 5+ years) on Facebook with the opener of ‘hey ho’. I thought it was my sister and let’s just say it didn’t go down well.

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4- The English lesson in which I completely zoned out was a horrendous moment in time. We were reading through a Shakespearean play, with each student being given an individual part to read, I was given Borachio. It was after this point that my teacher asked ‘who is Borachio?’ I suddenly tuned back in and responded with ‘me!’ whilst waving my hand…she meant who is he as a character, not who was playing him. Most awkward minute of my life.

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Photographic evidence

5- Not forgetting the time I was accosted, by a random german tourist, in central London. He stared at me for a while and then as prompted by his (rather strange) family, decided to jump in a picture with me. I was not impressed. Which you can probably tell from the photo above.

6- My big break, aged 10 I was cast as the ‘white witch’ in my schools production of ‘The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe’ (a main part) I was chuffed to say the least. During the plays last part my character dies in battle, as a result I was told to quickly get off stage following through an opening in the side curtain. Every rehearsal I managed it with no problems, come the day of the performance it didn’t shall we say, go off without a hitch. You see during the actual performance I couldn’t find the opening due to the lack of light, I didn’t want to ruin the show so following a large jolt of adrenaline I did what I had to do, and wait for I…roly polyed underneath the curtain. It was not met with the best of responses from my teacher.

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7- This wasn’t my moment but I was there to witness it, making it just as awkward. My mum is the definition of a Brit abroad, she’s a lovely lady but sometimes her people skills fall a bit flat. Something which I experienced first hand in Disneyland Paris, waiting for a table at a restaurant my mum set about enquiring when we would be sat…to a non – English speaking member of staff. It resulted in 5 minutes of my mum repeating ‘English-En-glish’, the poor woman continued to shake her head, despite my and my sisters attempts to explain the situation to mum she was not having any of it. It was not over until finally a fellow member of staff came to answer my mums query. I now understand why the French tend to dislike us Brits.

8- There was also the painful moment when I was walking back from school with my good friend Hinda. We had finished a whole day of completing our gcse business studies coursework, and rather than have a delightful conversation about our day we conversed about something else. We boasted about managing to cheat on our coursework, we also mocked the idea of rachet people by speaking in a ghetto style language. It was not until after all of this that we realised our business teacher (the one who’s coursework we cheated on) had been behind us the whole time. Luckily he has a good sense of humour, he also felt as awkward as us and burst out laughing at us, it would not of ended well for my coursework if he didn’t, thank christ for that.

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9- I recently got my haircut at my favourite salon. I have gone there since the age of 10, it’s always been a comfortable place for me, that was until my last visit. I went as normal to the hair washing station and was met with shock horror, the girl washing my hair was an irritating chav/hoodlum from the year below me at school. There was the recognition of a mutual dislike on both of our faces, thankfully it didn’t last long but the tension seemed to linger for the remainder of my visit. I guess I’ll be moving salons then.

10- In history this year we have been studying the civil rights movement in America. Due to this at the start of the academic year I was set an essay on the ‘KKK’, I picked a bad time to write it, sitting next to my good friend Sophie. Whilst powering through what appeared to be a never ending essay I carried on, unbeknownst to me Sophie was reading over my shoulder and without thinking shouted ‘kkk?!’. Her accidental outburst caused the remaining students in the room to look at me with shock and confusion due to their not understanding the context, with one responding with ‘oh my god she’s racist!’. Thanks for that Soph.

Well now do you guys understand my pain? It’s a hard life I lead but I do it fabulously. So that’s the end of my 10 very awkward moments, until next time laters lovelies.

Bah Humbug

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Christmas is fast approaching and despite the risk of sounding like a grinch I thought I’d share with you the 10 things I hate about Christmas. You might be thinking there’s nothing to dislike about the now consumer based holiday, but I beg to differ so here goes:

1- Shopping mall/centre Santa’s nothing against them but the whole fully grown man dressed up and inviting children to sit on his lap on order to get a present creeps me right out. Maybe it’s a combination of never believing in Santa and a bad experience with a slightly hungover Irish ‘Santa’ but the whole thing just never really floated my boat.

2- Obnoxious neighbours taking advantage, just because it’s a time for sharing it does not mean that I want to hear your excessively loud music I have my own thanks for the thought (or lack of it) though.

3- Mistletoe, it’s a plant not an excuse for PDA. If you need it to get some action you should really reevaluate things.  

4- Discounts it’s amazing how 30% off can encourage me to buy the most unnecessary of items. Seriously I’m a sucker for a discount and my bank account does not appreciate it at all.

5- Christmas Jumpers now don’t get me wrong they’re adorkable but they’re only of use to me between 1-25 of December…so not very long then. Sad times compadre sad times.

6- Church, I mean seriously Christmas is not religious anymore let’s stop pretending. Jesus wasn’t even born on Christmas day let’s just move on from those awkward nativity scenes please and thankyou.

7- Carolers I get that they’re trying to capture Christmas but maybe they should check if they can hold a tune beforehand?

8- Selection boxes they used to be the shizz but now Cadburys have become awfully stingey (making their selection boxes not so much of a selection) and have officially ruined my Christmas tradition of having one on xmas morning.

9- Awkward and awful gifts I have been the victim of this on many Christmases the trick is to look just the right amount of happy…in the words of the penguins from Madagascar ‘smile and wave boys, smile and wave’.

10- There’s nothing left to look forward to as sad as it is after this the only holiday I’m left anticipating is my birthday…It’s in October.

And there you have my top 10 pet peeves about Christmas, as annoyingly perky and commercialised as its become it’s still by far my favourite holiday. Embrace it even if you’re a downer like yours truly anyway there’s nothing else you can do take it from me bud.